DEVELOP POSITIVE REALTIONSHIP WITH CHILDREN YOUNG PEOPLE
SAMSON MAGARA
21/08/2014 at 11:11
The ability to foster good relationships with others is one of the foundation stones of being a good practitioner. Children’s experience of a setting will largely depend on the relationship that they make with practitioners and other peers. Opportunities to form, strengthen and promote positive relationships with children and young people exist in every
practitioner’s working day[1].
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Positive relationship with children and young people are important because:
• When children feel comfortable with us they can separate more easily from their parents
• Children are more likely to participate in the play and learning activities if they are secure emotionally
• when children have strong relationships, they are less likely to show unwanted behaviour as we can recognise and meet their needs
• children’s language develops more quickly because they feel confident talking to us
• practitioners can plan more accurately as they understand children’s developmental needs and know
their interests
• Practitioners are able to respond to children more effectively because they can recognise their expressions and
emotion[2].
There are some factors that seem to underpin a strong relationship:
a) Effective communication:
One of the most important ways to build a relationship is communications whether it is smiling and cooing to a new born baby or having a discussion with a young adult effective, communication is a must[3].
The style and way of that we might do this will change according to the child’s age and stage of development.
Communication is not just about words, it is also about our facial expression, body language and gestures[4].
b) Being consistent and fair:
There are also other principles of building a relationship being consistent whether this is keeping rules and behaviour boundaries or making sure you do not have mood swings this helps the children and young adults know where they are and where their boundaries are. Children and young people rely upon us. This means that it is essential that day after day, we are consistent. Consistency means not just keeping behavioural boundaries in place, but also making sure that we do not have significant mood swings, for example one day being excitable and funny and the next being quiet and withdrawn.
Children also need to know that we will be fair with them. We will listen to what they have to say before jumping to
conclusions and we will try to make sure that their needs are taken into consideration. Fairness is also something that adults
need as well. Parents will want to see that the way that their family is being treated is comparable with others, while staff
members need to feel that their workplace is a fair one where everyone is expected to pull their weight[5].
c).Identifying and sorting out conflicts and agreements Groups of children, like adults, will have their disagreements. As children become older these can become more serious and
are not simply squabbles. In order for children and young people to trust us, it is important that we can identify difficulties and help them wherever possible to find ways through them. It is essential that children and young people perceive our way of doing this as fair.
d).Showing respect and courtesy:
Children and young people will need to receive respect and courtesy from us in order that they can extend these skills to
others. From the earliest age, we should be using markers of respect in English such as saying please and thank you. We
should also speak to children and young people using voice tones that are warm and courteous.
e) Valuing and respecting individuality:
Recognising others’ individuality is the basis of anti-bias practice Children, young people and other adults will all have
different strengths, talents and attitudes. They will also respond in different ways. Valuing and respecting their individuality
means showing that we are comfortable with their differences. With young children it also means acknowledging that they
may have particular interests and then building upon these by, for example, saying, ‘I know that yesterday you enjoyed
playing with the bucket outside and so today I have brought a scoop for you to try out.
f) Keeping promises and honouring commitments
Small things matter enormously to children and young people. The promise of a turn on the tricycle tomorrow will be
remembered as will talk of buying some card for a craft activity. Children and young people need to know that they can rely
on us and part of this is keeping our word. Not keeping promises or honouring commitments mean that a child or young
person will tend not to trust us again or may keep some distance from us.
g).Keeping confidentiality as appropriate
While we can never promise to maintain confidentiality if children reveal that they have been abused, or that there is a danger that they may be harmed, keeping confidentiality is an important part of working with children, young people and others. Confidentiality is essentially about trust and respect. Parents and other professionals will often give you confidential information on the basis that it will be helpful to you when you work. They do so trusting that this information will not be passed on to others, to become the source of gossip or interest. If you breach confidentiality, you will break that trust. When trust between you and others breaks down, so too does the relationship h) Recognising and responding appropriately to the power base underpinning relationships Few relationships are genuinely equal in terms of power. Someone may have more resources, experience or skills. They may equally have power as a result of their position and role. It is important to understand this in terms of our relationships with children, young people and others. With children and young people, it is particularly important that our power is not abused as it is given to us to protect and nurture them. This means not ‘ordering’ children about, but ensuring that we are always fair, respectful and courteous[6].
[1] M. Walker(2009) Children’s Care Learning and development.2nd edition p.1
[2]. http://www.pearsonschoolsandfecolleges.co.uk/ChildrenandYoungPeopleWorkforceUnit35.pdf
[3] http://www.studymode.com/essays/1-1-Explain-Why-Positive-Relationships-With-Children-1417228.html
[4] http://www.pearsonschoolsandfecolleges.co.uk/Level3DiplomainChildrenandYoungPeopleWorkforceUnit35.pdf
[5] http://www.pearsonschoolsandfecolleges.co.uk/ p4
[6] http://www.pearsonschoolsandfecolleges.co.uk/ p.5
Part of working professionally with children, young people and their families is to monitor and then, if necessary, adapt own behaviour. a child moves slightly back when I talk to them. Noticing this is important. It might be a sign that the child finds me too overpowering style slightly to be gentler.
Evaluate your own effectiveness
The wonderful thing about children and young people is that they are all different. This means that I need to adapt the way in which with them according to their age/stage of development, needs and personality.
Working with two children of exactly the same age I do not expect them to respond in similar ways. I appreciate that it is more appropriate in which I work, rather than to condemn a child. An important starting point is therefore to consider how effective our relationships are.
Interestingly, some tell-tale indicators of the strength of my relationships with children and young people can be seen through some I use the Reflect activity below as a tool to consider the relationships that I have with individual children[1].
always sometimes Greeting
Does the child or young person seek you out soon after coming into the setting?
Does the child or young person like to tell you when they are leaving the setting?
Seeking help
Does the child or young person seek you out quickly if they need help or have had an accident?
Smiling and eye contact
Does the child or young person often make eye contact with you or smile while you are with them?
Looking for company
Does the child or young person seek you out to involve you in play, chat or an activity?
Absence
Does the child or young person miss you when you are not in the room (babies and toddlers) or are absent for
a few days
Adapting own style
If I conclude that our relationship with a child is not as strong as I would have hoped, it is important to be ready to adapt own style is to observe someone in the setting or another adult involved in the care of the child and reflect on the skills being used. It might shows more facial expression or praises more.
Also smiling is particularly important when it comes to relationships. When we are less confident and comfortable with children and behaviour shows this. Smiling, being positive and acknowledging the child are all clear signs to the child that we are enjoying being sure about how to approach a child, these types of signals become less frequent[2].
[1] http://www.pearsonschoolsandfecolleges.co.uk/p.9
[2] http://www.pearsonschoolsandfecolleges.co.uk/p.9
WHY POSITIVE RELATIONS WITH PEOPLE IN THE CARE OF CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE ARE IMPORTANT
Children do not come through the door alone or by themselves and it is rare that we are the only ones involved in a child’s education and well-being. A child might, for example, be brought into a nursery by a childminder or au pair; or a childminder
might find that a reception-aged child will attend school in the morning but come to her in the afternoon. Some children with additional
needs may also have a range of others involved in their care such as a speech and language therapist or a social worker. This
means that we must be able to establish effective relationships with a range of people – from children’s immediate families through to colleagues and other professionals[1].
Practitioners must establish positive relationships with other adults within their setting. This includes their colleagues, other professional, parents, carers and other family members.
This is important for a number of reasons; Positive working relationships lead to a pleasant, comfortable atmosphere in the working environment. This beneficial to staff and also the children because the practitioners working environment is the child’s play and learning space. Good practitioners work in partnership with parents and carers- but this can only be achieved when positive relationship has been established[2].
The key to building relationships with other adults is mutual respect and the understanding that although our approaches
may vary, everyone involved is working towards the same end – the welfare and education of the child. It is also important
to remember that relationships are built on trust and information that is given in confidence must remain confidential unless
there is an issue about child safety. The importance of the relationship developed will also ensure that:
a) Good communication is possible in order to support the needs of children and their families. Where we do not have
strong relationships, there is a danger that information may be passed inaccurately or that it is withheld because we may
not be trusted. This has to be taken seriously as, over the past few years, some child deaths have occurred because people caring for children have not worked properly together.
b) where parents are concerned, it is essential that we build positive relationships so that we can work closely together
with them to benefit the child in a variety of ways. This should include settling the child in, sharing developmental
information and also learning about children’s interests.
c) we are rarely the only ones involved in a child’s education and well-being Positive relationships are essential for good
communication
d) children’s needs and interests are Identified Information can be shared quickly between adults
e) children are given consistent care
f) plans for children’s care and education are more effective
g) children’s welfare can be properly monitored
h) Skills and ideas can be shared[3].
[1] http://www.pearsonschoolsandfecolleges.co.uk/ p9
[2] M.Walker(2009):children’s Care Learning and development, 2nd edition Nelson Thornes p.22
[3] http://www.pearsonschoolsandfecolleges.co.uk/ p11
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